December 2024
The MAGA crowd can learn a lot from FDR's "Purge"
20/12/24 11:50
December 20, 2024 (Vol. 18 No. 52) - As the United States Congress descends into chaos, South African import Elon Musk and his puppet, Felon 47-elect, is urging the removal of RINOs (Republicans in Name Only) from the MAGA-infested Republican Party. Before they go much farther in this dubious venture, they should learn the lessons of history. Following his easy victory over Kansas Governor Alf Landon in the 1936 election, FDR unveiled an aggressive liberal agenda. To his dismay, much of it was derailed by a coalition of Republicans and dissident conservative Democrats. Frustrated, FDR took to the airwaves during one of his Fireside Chats to attack the dissident Democrats (photo above). He then used a tactic today's Republicans are very familiar with: He "primaried" them by supporting a slate of liberal candidates. He accused the conservative Democrats of being traitors to the cause of reform. Unfortunately for the President, the plan backfired. His opponents evoked the image of Stalin brutally eliminating his opponents in Russia by calling FDR's actions a "purge," and then they suggested he was trying to establish a dictatorship. In the end, all but one of the dissident Democrats were reelected. FDR's botched efforts also produced major gains for the Republican Party in the 1938 midterm elections. Felon 47-elect and his minions should remember that FDR was reelected in 1936 in a landslide. The incoming President did not even garner half of the popular vote. If I were a congressional Democrat, I'd sit back and let the Republicans eat their young. History has shown us that, like Icarus of Greek mythology, if you try to fly too high, you will get burned. That's it for now. Merry Christmas and Fear the Turtle."Someone Stole My Truck!!!"
10/12/24 21:37
December 13, 2024 (Vol. 18 No. 51) - If I were to write my own Hallmark Christmas movie, we would return to the idillic - and make-believe - village of Evergreen, Vermont. It's a magical place where everyone holds the Christmas spirit close to their hearts, that welcomes total strangers without reservation and the streets are slush-free even though it is always snowing. (By the way, it is also the only town in Vermont where no one seems to ski.) This Christmas season, a gang of bikers who call themselves "Heck's Angels" - remember, this is a Hallmark movie - stops in town. The leader of the pack, "Snake Eyes" O'Malley, surprises his distant cousin Dr. Allie Shaw, the local veterinarian. She's famous for driving around town in an antique red pick-up truck that is always decorated for Christmas. (Despite the constant presence of snow, those decorations remain remarkably pristine, just like the truck.) The two had a falling out some years ago when he shaved her pet Cocker Spaniel. We learn that he plans to apologize to his cuz for that distant dirty deed. But before he can, some of the boys decide to go joy riding her Little Red Truck. (Hence, the title of our movie: Christmas in Evergreen - Someone Stole My Truck!!!) If you have seen any of the previous three Christmas in Evergreen movies, you would know that Dr. Shaw's truck is the closest thing Evergreen has to mass transit. More people in town have driven the truck than those who haven't. Commercial activity in town grinds to a halt and the Christmas Eve Festival is in danger of being cancelled. However, a white-bearded old gentleman named Nick - someone who doesn't appear to have any gainful employment but people still seek out his sage advice anyway - invites Heck's Angels to participate in the annual Christmas cookie baking contest. And when old "Snake Eyes" wins, he and his gang are filled with the spirit of Christmas. However, we learn that the truck was totaled when it ran off the side of Jingle Bell Lane into — wait for it — the town's Christmas tree. All seems lost until someone shakes the snow globe at the Kris Kringle Kitchen (a business with a most unfortunate acronym) and makes a wish. Sure enough, while some of the bikers cut down a tree near the Ice Skating Pond and decorate it for Christmas, the others hold a bake sale with their award-winning Christmas cookies. They make enough money to buy Dr. Shaw a new red truck. And when the governor of Vermont, who just happens to be in town for the Festival, sees what the biker boys have done, she issues the gang a full and complete pardon. The Governor then rides out of town on the back of Snake Eye's bike and they live happily ever after. Now THAT's the Hallmark movie I'd pay good money to see! That's it for now. Fear the Turtle.America's Faustian Bargain
02/12/24 07:40
December 2, 2024 (Vol. 18 No. 50) - Faust is a character in German folklore who gave his soul to the devil in exchange for unlimited knowledge and worldly pleasure. It is from that legend that the phrase Faustian bargain was born. It is said that one who sacrifices something of great moral or spiritual value to gain something they desire has made a Faustian bargain. That is what almost half of America (49.9 percent, to be exact) did on November 5. In voting to place Donald Trump back in power, they had to overlook basic American and religious values. Trump is a convicted felon, a certified sex offender, an incompetent administrator with the language skills of a fifth grader, a seditious conspirator who tried to overturn the government of the United States, a racist who preys upon the voter's darkest fears, and a oligarch wanting to dismantle the Constitution so he can consolidate power to himself. Can you think of anyone more un-American than the whisper of a man I just described? And what did Trump voters get in return? They think he will Make America Great Again. They think Trump will make the economy stronger. They think he will restore America's place as the world's greatest nation. In reality, it is unlikely that their expectations will be met. If Trump and his sychophantic zealots do just half of what they say they will do, the United States will be headed toward a Depression worse than that experienced in the 1930s. Our stature in the world, revived by the Biden administration, will be irrepairably be damaged. Trump's "America First" world view is more likely to force the nation into a war worse than the one President Biden just ended. For Failure 45 - soon to become Felon 47 - it's the perfect bargain: He gets everything and everyone else gets nothing. It may take a few months, but his voters will eventually realize that they got less out of their Faustian bargain than they thought they would. And the rest of us will say we told you so. That's it for now. Fear the Turtle.