"Someone Stole My Truck!!!"
10/12/24 21:37
December 13, 2024 (Vol. 18 No. 51) - If I were to write my own Hallmark Christmas movie, we would return to the idillic - and make-believe - village of Evergreen, Vermont. It's a magical place where everyone holds the Christmas spirit close to their hearts, that welcomes total strangers without reservation and the streets are slush-free even though it is always snowing. (By the way, it is also the only town in Vermont where no one seems to ski.) This Christmas season, a gang of bikers who call themselves "Heck's Angel" - remember, this is a Hallmark movie - stops in town. The leader of the pack, "Snake Eyes" O'Malley, surprises his distant cousin Dr. Allie Shaw, the local veterinarian. She's famous for driving around town in an antique red pick-up truck that is always decorated for Christmas. (Despite the constant presence of snow, those decorations remain remarkably pristine, just like the truck.) The two had a falling out some years ago when he shaved her pet Cocker Spaniel. We learn that he plans to apologize to his cuz for that distant dirty deed. But before he can, some of the boys decide to go joy riding her Little Red Truck. (Hence, the title of our movie: Christmas in Evergreen - Someone Stole My Truck!!!) If you have seen any of the previous three Christmas in Evergreen movies, you would know that Dr. Shaw's truck is the closest thing Evergreen has to mass transit. More people in town have driven the truck than those who haven't. Commercial activity in town grinds to a halt and the Christmas Eve Festival is in danger of being cancelled. However, a white-bearded old gentleman named Nick - someone who doesn't appear to have any gainful employment but people still seek out his sage advice anyway - invites Heck's Angels to participate in the annual Christmas cookie baking contest. And when old "Snake Eyes" wins, he and his gang are filled with the spirit of Christmas. However, we learn that the truck was totaled when it ran off the side of Jingle Bell Lane into — wait for it — the town's Christmas tree. All seems lost until someone shakes the snow globe at the Kris Kringle Kitchen (a business with a most unfortunate acronym) and makes a wish. Sure enough, while some of the bikers cut down a tree near the Ice Skating Pond and decorate it for Christmas, the others hold a bake sale with their award-winning Christmas cookies. They make enough money to buy Dr. Shaw a new red truck. And when the governor of Vermont, who just happens to be in town for the Festival, sees what the biker boys have done, she issues the gang a full and complete pardon. The Governor then rides out of town on the back of Snake Eye's bike and they live happily ever after. Now THAT's the Hallmark movie I'd pay good money to see! That's it for now. Fear the Turtle.