There's Just No Fixin' Stupid
30/04/26 08:30
April 30, 2026 (Vol. 20 No. 17) - There he was yesterday, sitting all smug and cocky in his deliberately undersized suit. Puffed-Up Petey Hegseth, the self-proclaimed "Secretary of War," was gracing Congress with his presence and wisdom for the first time since the Trump Administration launched its unnecessary and unconstitutional war against Iran. While Republican members of the House Armed Service Committee lobbed softball questions to the former Fox TV host, Democrats lobbed hand grenades. In his typical arrogant bastard tone, Hegseth didn't answer their questions. Instead, starting with his opening statement, Puffed-Up Petey hurled insults and invective in a manner none of his predecessors would have imagined.During his first term, President Donald Jackass Trump claimed he hired "the best people" for his Cabinet. He made no claim his time around - for good reason. As I have often cataloged in this space, Trump has himself a Klown Kabinet, a motley crew of misfits, miscreants and sycophants. None is more emblematic of this descent into chaos than our 45-year-old former National Guardsman turned into a self-proclaimed "war fighter." To be fair, Hegseth earned a Bronze Star while his Minnesota guard unit was deployed to Iraq. For that sir, I honor you for your service. However, once the Princeton-educated conservative left the service, he veered off into Neo-Nazi-like think tanks, eventually landing at that paragon of broadcast journalism, Fox News. Never in the history of this country have we had someone in such a critical position who was so under-qualified - with the exception of Donald Trump, himself. During his confirmation hearings, Hegseth faced allegations of sexual misconduct, financial mismanagement and excessive drinking. He needed Vice President J.D. Vance's - another under-qualified miscreant - to cast the tie-breaking vote to be confirmed by the Senate.
We were treated to classic Puffed-Up Petey in yesterday's hearing. He announced that the widely unpopular war, which has no end in sight, has cost the American taxpayer $25 billion. He was on Capitol Hill to push for the Pentagon's $1.45 trillion budget request. He brushed off the very real concern that Trump's version of "shock and awe" had critically depleted the supply of essential munitions such as air-launched cruise missiles and ground-launched precision strike missiles. At one point, Puffed-Up Petey lied to committee when he said that the Biden administration had spent "hundreds of billions of dollars" in defense of Ukraine. The actual figure is closer to $67 billion. He also defended actions that even first-year law students can identify as war crimes by saying the administration will give Iran "no quarter and no mercy." (That's the kind of language that sounds like it came out of Mein Kampf.) He was dismissive of the impact that Trump administration's war had cost the global economy. Puffed-Up Petey's response was to pose the false question of whether the Democrat Congressmen would prefer Iran have a nuclear weapon. My response: If you, as you claimed, "obliterated" Iran's nuclear program last summer, why was any of this necessary? What was the urgency? Did it have anything with Trump's record low approval ratings and the Epstein files? If so, this was one distraction that royally backfired.
So, what's the status of the war? Both sides have blockaded the Strait of Hormuz. As of this morning, this globally important waterway's traffic has been reduced to just five percent of normal. The two sides are not talking. Instead, they are willing to play "chicken" with each other at the expense of the global economy. Trump says he has "all of the cards." Yet, I am willing to bet that it will be the U.S. that will be the first to blink. As for the enriched uranium Iran has stored away deep inside of the mountain, I seriously doubt they would ever give it up. Would you, considering America's actions of the past two months? The only way the U.S. can secure the uranium is through the introduction of ground troops. Trump doesn't have the backbone to do that and the American people will not stand for it.
In his opening statement yesterday, Puffed-Up Petey said Congressional Democrats and some Republicans pose the greatest threat to peace. To that, I call "bullshit." Iran would not have a nuclear program today if our demented and defecating president had not torn up the nuclear agreement his processor had negotiated. By all independent accounts, the deal President Obama made was working. Now, in the face of American aggression and war crimes, there is not a snowball's chance in hell that Iran will give up its dream of becoming a nuclear power. Trump and Puffed-Up Petey haven't made us safer. If anything, we are now in more danger than ever before. Trump and his Klown Kabinet may talk big and bold, but they are dumbest people in the room. And as comedian Ron White had famously said, "There's just no fixin' stupid." That's it for now. Fear the Turtle.