Another One Bites The Dust

October 17, 2026 (Vol.20 No. 37) - Poor Katie Zacharia. Like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming train, the latest in the line of Trump bimbos managed to crash and burn in just five days. But let's not dump upon this fragile and brainwashed little creature. She was set up for failure by a President who knows nothing these days but failure.

Zacharia didn't even last long enough in the much-abused position of Trump press secretary for her to be parodied on Saturday Night Live. First, there was her disastrous 15-minute, three-question, calling Trump her "Daddy" news briefing. Then there was the question of her qualifications. She called herself an attorney when she had never even passed the bar. Maybe she conflated working behind a bar as passing it. Finally, she made a series of embarrassing appearances on conservative media outlets that even tested the patience of Sean Hannity.

And now she is gone. It used to be that we measured White House appointments by "Scaramuccis," the 11 days Anthony Scaramucci foundered as press secretary. We will now call a five-day term of office a "Zacharia."

Zacharia was just the latest in a series of incompetent Trump White House press secretaries. She made Sean Spicer and Anthony Scaramucci look smooth. Even Karoline Levitt, the beauty school dropout whom I have already used this space to eviscerate, was better than this blonde Barbie. But, back to my original premise, this pattern of clueless and blindly obedient press secretaries is Donald Trump's fault. The White House press secretary has historically been a conduit of information between the President and the public. A good press secretary not only presents the administration's view of the world, he or she also advises the President on public concerns. However, that is not the case in this White House. The chief requirements for being Donald Trump's mouthpiece is blind loyalty, blonde hair and an ability to bullshit and blather. And the poor, dumb - most people don't know there a "b" in "dumb" - son-of-a-bitch in the Oval Office wonders why his approval rating is below that of Adolf Hitler.

I feel the need to remind you that I know what I am talking about. I used to be a press secretary - although we rarely used that term - for a small college and within a gubernatorial administration before I joined the University of Kansas faculty and taught public relations for nearly three decades. So when I say there needs to be a two-way relationship between the White House and the publics it is supposed to serve, this is not pie-in-sky dreaming. It is how democratic societies are supposed to work. The position of White House Press Secretary should be treated as the critically important position it is and not as an afterthought and reward for pretty young girls who flatter their boss.

It's no secret that Donald Trump does not like the press. But like moth drawn to a flame, he can't live without it. It was his ability to manipulate the media by drowning out all opposition with ludicrous, lubricous - look it up - and often obscene pronouncements that helped him become president. Fittingly, those same forces are now in the process of destroying his presidency. Even Lloyd Bridges, who in 1958 starred in a TV series called Sea Hunt, was never as far under water as Donald Trump is. If justice is to be done - and I think it will be - this fat, addle-brained, shell-of-a-man will face an electoral thumping next month the likes of which we haven't seen in decades.

And may God Bless America. That's it for now. Fear the Turtle.