Man's Best Boss

27/02/23 10:13
IMG_1099February 27, 2023 (Vol. 17 No. 13) - Despite two college degrees, almost a half-century of gainful employment and nearly four decades as a parent and, more recently, a grandparent, I have finally reached this conclusion: I work for my dog. I was under the false illusion that my wife and I adopted Randi, a pit-terrier mix, in 2014. However, I have grown to realize that we didn't adopt her. Instead, she hired us. At least, that's the way it seems these days. She will walk up to me at any time of day, stare at me with her big, brown eyes and command me to do something. Of course, since she hasn't yet mastered the ability to speak, I have to go through a long checklist of possible desires. "Do you want to go outside? Do you want to play ball? Do you want a doggy treat? Are you hoping to solve world peace?" At some point, I figure out what she wants, drop everything I am doing, and give in to her demands. (Hint: Ninety-five percent of the time it has something to do with food.) Now that I have reached the age of blissful retirement, I have been reduced to serving as my dog's full-time personal assistant. I buy most of her food, medicines and treats. I drive her to her doctor and grooming appointments. I feed her and give her her medicines - even when she resists. I let her sit on my lap in my living room recliner - even after I have already decided it was time to get up and do something else. You might say that I suffer from a case of canine paralysis. Randi will wake me in the middle of the night to let me know that she wants to go outside. (That's not necessarily a bad thing, until she starts dawdling around the yard at 3:00 a.m. looking for critters.) Why do I put up with this? I ask myself that question every day. The answer is the same reason my wife and I spent thousands of dollars and much of the month of December commuting between Lawrence and the KSU Veterinary Health Center in Manhattan where she underwent major cancer surgery: We love her. And, she loves us. Together, our family would not be whole without her. Yes, there are times she annoys me. But then, she looks at me with her big, brown eyes and lovingly asks: What have you done for me lately? That's it for now. Fear the Turtle.