Radio Days: Santa and the Fire Truck

November 23, 2024 (Vol. 18 No. 49) - Everyone who has worked in commercial radio has a story - at least one story - about some of the dumb things they had to do to please station management. Everyone remembers the famous WKRP Turkey Drop. One of my stories has to do with the "traditional" arrival of Santa Claus in Rocky Mount, North Carolina, on the day after Thanksgiving. Local lore was that Jolly Old Nick would kick off the holiday shopping season by arriving at the local mall in a fire truck. Sounds strange, but the kids loved it. After all, we are talking about fire trucks and Santa. However, for some Godforsaken reason, the Jolly Ol' Elf's arrival was simulcast live over each of the town's three AM radio stations. Which station broadcast the arrival rotated every year. One year, it was my station's turn and our crack programing director's idea was to put News Director David Guth "live" in the fire truck with Santa as he rode through town. With today's technology, that sounds easy. But this was 1978. To pull off that little bit of magic required a broadcast transmitting unit called a "Marti." It was big, bulky and required a power source. The only place we could place it on the fire engine was on one side of the open bay - the place where the firefighters jump out of the truck to battle a blaze. There's no door - just the street below. However, the microphone, other necessary equipment and Santa were placed on the opposite side of side of the open bay. For technical reasons too boring to explain here, when I got my cues to go "live," I would have to cross the open bay to turn on the Marti before I could broadcast live from the fire truck. At first, the system worked just fine. The only "problems" with the broadcast was that the Santa I interviewed was monosyllabic and spoke in a thick Southern accent. (Maybe he lived at the South Pole?) However, there was one moment of shear terror. At the very moment I got my cue to cross the open bay, turn on the Marti and start broadcasting, the fire truck made sharp left turn. Next thing I know is that I am halfway out the door on my way to the street. With one foot inside the engine and one foot out, I grabbed onto a fireman's hand railing. With a microphone in one hand and me holding on for dear life in the other, I calmly broadcast live that Santa was getting closer to the mall. I survived and Santa arrived. And I made sure that I was out-of-town every Thanksgiving thereafter. That's it for now. Happy Thanksgiving. And Fear the Turtle.