Santosia
24/01/23 07:27
January 24, 2023 (Vol. 17 No. 7) - There is a new affliction threatening the health and well-being of our nation. It is known as Santosia, not to be confused with Santosha, a term used in yoga circles denoting contentment and a lack of desire for what others have. Nor should it be confused with the Brazilian plant of the same name - although this particular form of mental illness appears to have originated in Brazil and taken flower on Long Island in New York. Its symptoms include delusionary expressions of grandeur that expotentially grow in their number and scope, particularly during political campaign election seasons. An example would be if I claimed to have won the first of my six Congressional Medals of Honor during the Korean War - which would have been amazing, considering that the war ended before my first birthday. The incidious thing about Santosia is that it not only afflicts its perpetrator, but it also affects those around its carrier who are willing to accept anything they are told because it appears to serve their purposes. Given enough exposure to Santosia, these people eventually lose their spines. The medical term for this condition is known as Kevin McCarthyitus, a sort of Lou Gehrig's Disease for the politically impotent. There is a particularly virulent strain of Santosia in the Mar-a-Lago region of Florida. (That strain also appears to have infected at least one resident of Tallahassee.) But at least in the case of the Mar-a-Lago strain, there's a chance a cure may be found within the U.S. Department of Justice - unless, of course a bad case of Garlandian paralysis takes hold. When it comes to Santosia, there is only one cure: To vote as if the future of democracy depends upon it - because it does. That's it for now. Fear the Turtle!